Review: What My Bones Know, by Stephanie Foo

 

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma, by Stephanie Foo. Memoir. Published 2022 by Ballantine Books.

What My Bones Know came highly recommended from several sources, mostly people in the writing community concerned with writing memoir and reading memoirs about trauma and survival. It's a really great book.

Stephanie Foo grew up in California in a highly dysfunctional family and discovered that her myriad of symptoms and difficulties added up to a diagnosis of Complex PTSD; having reached that point, she started on the search for treatment options. This book documents that search, with memoir weaving through a narrative about what C-PTSD is, what's out there, and how she found a path to healing. Her background is in journalism and she puts her investigative skills to good use to create a compelling, moving story.

She does her weaving so seamlessly you barely notice as a reader; her journey and the way she expands beyond herself to talk about the larger issues around stigma, suffering and ultimately getting better are really one and the same. Foo is a skilled writer and charismatic too- honest and raw and real. I never felt like she was trying to portray herself in any particular way more than just tell her story, with all of her conflicts and confusion on display, her vulnerability and her successes, too. 

The book succeeds on all these levels and Foo creates a really satisfying and page-turning story about some pretty dark topics and times in her life. I think what pulled me along was the sense of optimism she has the whole time, the way she communicates to the reader that every step is a step forward. She celebrates the victories and treats the setbacks as just another bump on the road- but she's still on that road. I think anyone recovering from trauma or interested in the topic will find something good here, and memoir fans will appreciate her story which is both unique and universal.

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

 

Review: Unprotected, by Billy Porter

 

Unprotected, by Billy Porter. Memoir. Abrams Press, 2021. Audiobook narrated by Billy Porter.

It's hard to know where to begin with this amazing book. Billy Porter is the star of the hit TV show Pose and a Tony-winning Broadway performer best known for "Kinky Boots," a musical about a shoe factory based on the 2005 movie of the same name. And he's a good writer, too.

The book is a life's-story style memoir detailing his life from childhood through his historic Emmy win for the role of Pray Tell in Pose. It's mostly about his evolution as an artist and a person living his truth in the world. He grew up in the Philadelphia area, went to Carnegie Mellon and then made the move to New York and Broadway. The memoir details his family, both biological and chosen, and the way both have shaped him over the years.

If When you read Unprotected, I strongly recommend the audiobook version narrated by Porter himself. His voice certainly comes through in the print version but there is nothing like hearing the story in his literal voice. A gifted performer, he brings so much passion and feeling to his story and listening to him tell it is unforgettable.

The message: Love wins. His love for performing won; his love for his husband won; his love for his family won; and his love for himself won, too. And by the end, you'll be convinced that you can win, too.

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: One Hundred Saturdays, by Michael Frank

 

One Hundred Saturdays: Stella Levi and the Search for a Lost World, by Michael Frank. Memoir. Avid Reader Press, 2022.

One Hundred Saturdays is composed of 100 chapters representing a series of interviews writer Michael Frank conducted with Stella Levi, a nonagenarian New Yorker, formerly of a Jewish community based in Rhodes, Greece. Through the 100 chapters Michael lets Stella tell the story of her life- the community she grew up in, how it was impacted by World War 2, German occupation and its dissolution as the Jewish residents were deported en masse to Auschwitz. He follows her through the camps and finally to the United States, where she makes a life first in California and then in New York.

The book is peppered with illustrations by the great Maira Kalman which give the story an otherworldly feel. Frank extracts Levi's story piece by piece and succeeds in bringing it to life beautifully. We learn about the culture, traditions, languages and food of this varied and vibrant community. It proceeds more or less chronologically and we are treated to a really colorful story of a community lost to history. Her time in the camps is haunting, and her road to a new life in the United States is fascinating. The book is also a testament to the friendship and trust that Levi and Frank built. It reminds me a little of Lucette Lagnado's The Man in White Sharkskin Suit, a first-person memoir of growing up in Cairo around the same time, but this book has the added nuance of the interview-interviewee relationship and rapport.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone interested in Jewish history, particularly Sephardic history, or in any of the many ways that World War 2 impacted people all over the world. It's a fascinating and moving portrait of a life and a lost world.

FTC Disclosure: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher.

Review: Jersey Breaks, by Robert Pinsky

 

Jersey Breaks: Becoming an American Poet, by Robert Pinsky. Published 2022 by W.W. Norton & Company. Memoir.

For those of you who don't know Robert Pinsky he is a former U.S. Poet Laureate and taught at Harvard and Wellesley, among other places. I sort of got to know about him in the 1990s and 2000s as a public figure around Cambridge, Mass. And now I live in New Jersey so it's fun to read about his life here and get a sense of history.

He grew up in New Jersey in a colorful, diverse community and the book covers his life in non-chronological form, mostly about his growth as a writer and poet and his career in academia. I actually forgot that he taught at Wellesley at one point (where I went to college) so it was fun to rediscover that and hear about the community of writers in and around Cambridge in the 1970s-1990s or so. 

The book is a relatively quick read; I was reading two chapters a night but after about the middle of the book I slowed down because I was enjoying his voice so much. It feels like he is chatting to you. He is such a good writer and the book is immersive and pulls the reader along with its current. I felt like I got a good sense of the things pushing and pulling him in different directions, his influences both literary and familial. His personal life takes a back seat here at least after his childhood, which he narrates vividly.

Over all it was a really satisfying read and I could even see re-reading it at some point which I seldom if ever do with nonfiction. It does also make me want to seek out his poetry. Highly recommended.

Review: A Girl's Story, by Annie Ernaux

 

A Girl's Story, by Annie Ernaux. Seven Stories Press, 2020. Translated from the French by Alison L. Strayer.

A Girl's Story is a memoir about Ernaux's late teen years including her first sexual experience and its fallout. It's a dense and moving piece, made more so by the device of telling her story as though it's happening to someone else, as if the "girl of '58" is someone else. Ernaux refers to this self as "her" and "she" rarely breaking into the first person except to narrate her own efforts to tell the story of her younger self. The effect of this is profound alienation.

I found myself underlining so many passages. The last page of my copy is a list of page numbers. At the beginning she talks about what is was like for her when it was over, this romance:

"Everything you do is for the Master you have secretly chosen for yourself. But as you work to improve your self-worth, imperceptibly, inexorably, you leave him behind. You realize where folly has taken you, and never want to see him again. You swear to forget the whole thing and speak of it to no one."

But this is impossible as evinced by the existence of this book. "Both these periods of time are at once lived and imagined." An important line for the memoirist.

I loved this book deeply. I want to find a French copy so I can re-read it and get the quotes I liked in the original, not that I'm sure the translator hasn't done a wonderful job but still. Since I can read it in the original I really want to. I have so much to say about this but I don't feel like this is the right place for those thoughts though they may end up somewhere else.

Anyway another fine entry in Ernaux's piecemeal autofictional series.

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: A Woman's Story, by Annie Ernaux

 

A Woman's Story, by Annie Ernaux. Seven Stories Press (2003). Translated from the French by Tanya Leslie.

I should really just try reading her in the original. Anyway this is my first time reading Ernaux and will not be my last. A Woman's Story is a spare, elliptical memoir about the narrator's mother, a brief biography and series of remembrances on the occasion of her mother's death.

It's very short and you can read it in about an hour or so. Ernaux details her mother's early life and her later years, the times they spent together and the time that Ernaux spent caring for her toward the end of her life. It's not all shiny. 

There is a lot (relative to the fact that it is a short book) about both women's girlhoods.  It could be any woman's story; Ernaux succeeds in making it specific and universal. It might make you want to write your own story too.

Ernaux won the Nobel Prize recently and her books are available abundantly, at least at good bookstores. (I got mine at The Bookstore in Lenox, Mass.) I don't want to write too much because I want you to go pick up one of her books and have the experience of dipping into her world. I know I'll be back soon.

I'm off to read A Girl's Story next. 

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this copy for review.

Review: Making a Scene, by Constance Wu

 

Making a Scene, by Constance Wu. Scribner, 2022. Memoir.

You may know Constance Wu from the show Fresh Off the Boat or the movie Crazy Rich Asians (2018) where she played appealing heroine Rachel Chu. Her memoir-in-essays covers her childhood, acting career and romantic relationships. Chatty and approachable, she talks about her personal and professional life in tones that manage to be breezy, direct and vulnerable. 

She grew up in Virginia and moved to New York and Los Angeles to pursue acting; a theater kid from day one or so it seems, the stage was where she could have her big feelings, where she didn't have to hold back or play nice. When she starting acting on television she became embroiled in behind the scenes politics and relationships and navigating those alongside her personal life forms the basis for most of the book. At the beginning and then at the end we hear more about her family- her sisters, especially the sister closest in age to herself, and her parents, especially her mother. 

I enjoyed Making a Scene and found it to be both a quick read and a pretty immersive one. The chapters are short and the book covers a lot of ground, making it a good choice for the coffeeshop or the beach bag. I bet it would be great on audio as well. She talks about difficult subjects, including rape and sexual harassment and the various compromises women make to be people in the world as well as her own delusions and failings, with a tone that is both accessible and relatable. As celebrity memoirs go this is one to enjoy on several levels and worth your time.

FTC: I received an advance copy from the publisher for Indie Next consideration.

Review: Every Good Boy Does Fine, by Jeremy Denk

Every Good Boy Does Fine, by Jeremy Denk. 2022. Link is to my Bookshop.org store. I receive a small commission on sales.

What a delight this memoir is. 

I picked this up at Three Lives & Company bookstore in Greenwich Village on impulse, because it's about piano and I am a beginner piano student, and it looked like it might be a fun read. And it is.

Jeremy Denk started piano as a small child and this book is like a love letter to music and to his teachers. He takes us from childhood to early adulthood, roughly ending the book when he finished his formal schooling ending with a doctorate from Julliard. He talks about growing up and studying piano in New Mexico, Ohio, Indiana and finally New York- his teachers, pieces that he loves, thoughts on music and performance. It's just a terrific book.

Some of the material on music or music theory (okay, most of it) is way above my pay grade as someone who has been learning music for less than two years, but a lot more than I would have expected was actually very accessible and fun to read. I remember in particular a passage about a piece where at one point there is a staccato notation above a note and a pedal notation below it, and I understood both why that was absurd and how lovely it probably sounds when you figure out how to resolve it, for example. There are also extensive lists of recommended pieces to listen to with the chapters, which is fun. 

Much of the memoir centers on his lessons, on the learning process and his relationship with various teachers. Denk is always working working, taking on new repertoire and performance challenges, and one thing I'm loving about learning music is that you're never done- there's always something new to keep you excited and interested and moving forward. I love that feeling of always wanting to know and do more even as your skills and aptitude continue to develop. It's one of the most motivating things for me, and I love that Denk really shows us the joy that he finds in always continuing to learn and grow.

If you decide to read Every Good Boy, or even if you don't, I definitely suggest going to your favorite streaming service and listening to his recordings. Either way you should read the book and enjoy Denk's voice and writing, which are delightful. 

I did not receive this book for review.

Review: Happy-Go-Lucky, by David Sedaris

Happy-Go-Lucky (2022), by David Sedaris. Little, Brown. Audiobook narrated by David Sedaris.

You can find this and other favorites for sale in my Bookshop.org shop. I receive a small commission on sales.

David Sedaris's latest memoir/collection, Happy-Go-Lucky, is often anything but. The funniest essays are at the beginning and the collection slowly darkens from there, from a wry graduation speech given at Oberlin College to an essay on guns and school shootings and several pieces meditating on the death and complicated legacy of his father Lou, this collection covers a lot of ground, different moods and even some family secrets. 

If you have been following Sedaris's work through the years as I have you have probably noticed this trajectory as he's (as all of us have) been getting older. There is something I've enjoyed about growing up with him. He's about a decade older than I am and I read his books sometimes as glimpses into the future; his preoccupations aren't quite mine but they will be someday. In this book he wrestles over and over with his father's death and I can see why he may have waited for his father to die to publish some of these pieces. They are complicated, layered and incredibly moving. They must have been very difficult to write.

Sedaris also spends time on the Covid-19 pandemic and its various impacts on his life, from the ups and downs of living in New York City during its height (I can relate from my perch in north Jersey) to his frustrations with Covid culture and experiences in different parts of the country. It's often illuminating seeing things from his point of view, with his humor and irony. I don't agree with him on everything but I like how he makes his points.

This definitely isn't the laugh-out-loud Sedaris of Me Talk Pretty One Day; he deals with a lot of serious stuff but there are still chuckles to be had here and there. His now 30+ year relationship with his partner Hugh still provides fuel and there are smiles tucked into the corners, maybe not the darkest corners, but most of them. I do audio for Sedaris exclusively now because I so enjoy listening to him tell his stories but I pick up the print editions too, for completeness, and because he often does signed preorders which is nice and I do like my signed editions.

He never disappoints and I loved Happy-Go-Lucky as much as any of his books. I'm not sure it's the best first Sedaris and if you are already a fan you don't need my recommendation to read it, so if you're wondering, what I'll say is, check out one of his earlier books and get a feel for his story and his style, and see if that's something you want to pursue into later volumes. I don't think you'll regret getting on board.

I did not receive this book for review.

Review: THEFT BY FINDING, by David Sedaris

Theft by Finding, by David Sedaris. Published 2017 by Little, Brown. Nonfiction. Memoir. Humor. Audiobook.

Oh how I love David Sedaris's memoirs. Way back when I remember splurging on a hardcover edition of Holidays on Ice, because I just had a feeling it would speak to me. And it did.

Anyway after reading his books steadily for the past 18-odd years I've decided the best way to enjoy him is on audio- he is a great narrator of his own work and really adds a whole new dimension with his expressions and voice. Thus even though I did run out and buy a hardcover of Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002 as soon as it came out, I also jumped on a free audio version that Libro.fm offered to booksellers. What a treat.

At the very beginning Sedaris informs, or warns, us that this book is a very selective and incomplete edition of his diaries, which are far more voluminous than even this weighty tome would suggest. But what remains is vastly entertaining, bittersweet at times, at times obscene, crazy, or just plain silly and weird. It's also mundane, tender, jumpy, and intimate, and all these contradictory things at once. The narrative feels disconnected at times, since there is no real narrative, just a selection of events over time that give the reader some insight into Sedaris's priorities when it comes to observation, as well as his creative process and eye for detail. Some characters stand out; his relationship with his siblings always sits front and center, as well as his parents and his partner Hugh, who comes on to the scene about midway through this volume. Sedaris is cagey and economical about what he includes about the relationship; they meet, meet again, and the next we hear they are moving in together. It's not a lot but the particulars he chooses are enough to give a sense. I don't know why I'm particularly fascinated with this aspect of his life, but there you go.

Sedaris's voice joined me for a couple of weeks of bus rides and walks and he is a great companion. He says in the introduction that he doesn't expect readers to listen all at once, but "dip in and out" and this is just about what I did, listening for a few minutes here and there as I did errands, traveled around the city or relaxed at home or worked on crafts. I listened to quite a bit of it in the car, as my husband and I drove to and from Washington, D.C., two weekends ago. But for the most part I consumed the book in stolen moments.

And this approach worked well for a diary, written as it is in fits and spurts and crystallizing individual moments in time. Readers will travel with Sedaris all over the United States, to England, France and elsewhere, and from his early days of housecleaning and fruit picking through to his success as a writer. You'll get to know his family, especially his sisters and parents, and of course Hugh. You'll listen to experience his first successes and occasional struggles, like learning French or losing his cat Neil. Poor Neil.

Theft by Finding isn't laugh-out-loud funny like his polished memoir writing but it's so very enjoyable in a more low-key way. I could listen to him all day.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I received a complimentary audio copy from Libro.fm.

Mon Secret, by Niki de Saint Phalle

Mon Secret, by Niki de Saint Phalle. Published 2010, SNELA La Différence. In French. Memoir.

In this brief graphic memoir, late French artist Niki de Sainte Phalle details the sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her father, a banker, and some of the consequences on her including some experiences of treatment.

The book appears to be hand-written and from time to time includes stylized, illustrated lettering at moments of great emotional strain. Snakes are a recurring motif and she often draws her S as a snake. She also places emphasis on the letter P, especially when spelling père, or father, and V, for viol, or rape.

The appeal of the book for me is both its look- de Saint Phalle's use of illustrated script and the casual feel of the handwritten pages- and the power of its deceptively simple text. The narrative starts off slowly; her family, based in New York City, rents a house in New England every summer. They go to a new place every year. It's beautiful there, seductive, but there's a menace just under the surface the year she is 11. The first sign is the snakes but I think we're meant to understand the snakes as a symbol of her father's sexuality.

It's a powerful book, raw and emotional. Mon Secret can be read in one sitting comfortably; it's only 30 or so pages long, and although the book is in a larger format the large scrawl of the writing means each page has little text. The vocabulary is also pretty basic and intermediate students of French could handle it with ease.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: BORN A CRIME, by Trevor Noah

Born A Crime, by Trevor Noah. Published 2016 by Spiegl & Grau. Nonfiction, memoir.

I'm a fan of Trevor Noah, host of "The Daily Show," but I would have read this book in any case. Born A Crime is a memoir of his childhood in South Africa and a very particular story it is. His mother is African and Xhosa, and his father is European and Swiss; he was raised by his mother and later a stepfather and has straddled three worlds racially and culturally- the black South African world, the white one, and the "colored" one, which is the world of mixed-race people. And he was "born a crime" because sexual relations between races was illegal and his mother did in fact go to jail for a time.

Overall the book is a delight. You can hear Noah's voice as you read and that voice is frank, intelligent and no-nonsense. He's also very funny and tells stories both dark and humorous with a light touch. I really enjoyed it cover to cover.

So that said, Born A Crime can be choppy and somewhat difficult to follow in terms of a clear timeline but what is very clear is his sense of joy, confusion, his struggle to find a place for himself, and above all his love for his mother Patricia, an independent and nonconformist woman who taught Noah that anything is possible. But you do have to read between the lines to get a full sense of what it was like to grow up Trevor Noah; we only learn about his stepfather towards the end of the book but the experience of living with a man who was constantly trying to push him out and dominate the family must have colored his entire childhood. He doesn't tell us that, but if you look for it I bet you can find it.

He recounts stories from school, from outside of school with his friends and "entrepreneurial associates" (my term) one might say- the people with whom he established quasi-criminal off-the-books businesses pirating music and doing DJ gigs. He tells us about the time he was arrested and the truly terrifying prospects of landing in a South African prison. He tells us about his relationship with his father, a distant but loving man who accepted Noah without question but played his cards close to the vest. To this day Noah says he hasn't been to Switzerland or met his Swiss extended family, although I wonder with the publication of this book if that's still the case.

The best parts of the book, both the easiest and the most difficult to read, are those about his relationship with Patricia, who brought him up hard and awash in love and support. He couldn't, and didn't, get away with anything, even when he thought he did. Finally we meet his abusive stepfather Abel, who alternately charmed and terrorized the two of them as well as Noah's young half-brother. This abuse climaxes when Abel shoots Patricia in the head; she survives, but something died that day, even if it wasn't she herself.

Like I said I would have read Born A Crime whether or not I was a fan of Noah's, just to read a first-hand memoir of growing up in South Africa at the tail end of apartheid and the beginning of the democratic era. There's a lot of information here; I learned a lot but like other books I've read about South Africa I'm left with plenty more questions and the realization that there is still so much I don't know. So that makes Born A Crime a terrific read on several levels. It's funny and entertaining; it's heartbreaking; it's educative, and it leaves you wanting more.

Rating; BUY

FTC Disclosure: I received a galley copy from the bookstore where I work.

Review: LEAVING RUSSIA: A JEWISH STORY, by Maxim D. Shrayer

Leaving Russia: A Jewish Story, by Maxim D. Shrayer. Published 2013 by Syracuse University Press. Nonfiction. Memoir.

Leaving Russia is a detailed account of one family's struggle to emigrate from Russia, set in Moscow and elsewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1970s and 1980s.

Full disclosure: I interviewed Shrayer in 2008 when I worked for the Association of Jewish Libraries and featured his collection of short stories Yom Kippur in Amsterdam on their blog and mine; I have since kept in touch with him via social media including Facebook and while I have not met him in person, he is someone I know a little bit and I thought you should know that up front.

Anyway, that aside, I finally got around to reading his memoir recently, and it's pretty excellent, especially for readers interested in Soviet refuseniks and Jewish emigration from the former Soviet Union. The book covers Shrayer's life from his teen years through age 20, when he left with his parents David and Emilia. It's quite a searing portrait both of Soviet life as the Soviet Union was on the verge of collapse and the very daunting struggles of Jewish refuseniks to carve out a life while they waited to leave. He and his family live at the mercy of a capricious bureaucracy capable of both arbitrary and systemic antisemitism. They find community with other refuseniks but Shrayer lives a double life, a good student and ordinary kid outside the home, and a persecuted rebel at home. And then there are the times when his two lives overlap.

He writes with great affection about his friends and especially his family. The love he has for his parents radiates from the pages. He clearly idolizes his father, a fellow writer and his role model in so many parts of his life. And his admiration for his mother and her sacrifices, including the physical danger she has from time to time put herself in to support their refusenik cause is also quite palpable. He also shares the vivid world of the friendships and adventures that sustained him and have stayed with him. At the same time there is no doubt that the USSR was a hostile place for him and his family.

I enjoyed reading Shrayer's book a lot for both the refusenik story and the details about Soviet life it offers. This is after all a disappeared world, and I would place it alongside the other leaving-the-USSR memoirs I've read, like Elena Gorokhova's Mountain of Crumbs and Tina Grimberg's Out of Line. As a story about Jewish emigration Shrayer's story has more in common with Grimberg's but Grimberg's book was written for a middle-reader audience while Shrayer's book is unambiguously written for an adults. That said, I don't think there's anything inappropriate for a teen reader interested in the subject of the refusenik movement. It's a very moving, detailed and fascinating story about one family's experience of something that happened to so many families, as well as one young man's coming of age.

And on a personal note, as a Cold-War-era kid I will say that until I started working in synagogues I was completely unaware of the extent to which the story of Soviet dissidents was the story of Jewish people who wanted to leave due to antisemitism. For some reason this "detail" was left out of my public-school education, and I would therefore recommend this book very highly to anyone else who doesn't know very much about this subject, regardless of background. It may seem like a "niche" issue but it really isn't, because it's about the big issues of freedom and the power of the imagination to shape the world.

This counts towards the Read My Own Damn Books Challenge.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive a copy of this book for review.

Review: WIDOW BASQUIAT: A LOVE STORY, by Jennifer Clement

Widow Basquiat: A Love Story, by Jennifer Clement. Published 2014 by Broadway Books. Biography/Memoir.

Reading Widow Basquiat reminded me of my cool college girlfriend Kate who wore her expensive asymmetrical haircut above chic black outfits and seemed to know everything about movies, art, food and travel. We bonded over the Robert Mapplethorpe poster in my dorm room. She would have known all about people like artist Jean-Michel Basquiat and his lower-Manhattan milieu of the 80s, the setting for this combination of memoir and biography. It's the story of Suzanne Malouk, a young Canadian woman who came to New York in 1980 with red-lips-and-cigarettes dreams and met and falls in love with Basquiat and remained his friend and lover through all the ups and downs until his death in 1988.

Jennifer Clement, a novelist and friend of Mallouk's, writes in a chatty, nonchalant style and interleaves her narration with extensive quotes from Mallouk herself. The effect is like two friends reminiscing, and that's exactly what the book is. It's also a colorful and lively portrait of New York City in the 80s- the art world, the AIDS crisis, drug use and more.

As much fun as the book is, there's a dark side too, something to do with the consequences of fast living and the price of addiction, but what shines through is Mallouk's passion for life and her love for Basquiat and his art.  I blew through the book pretty quickly and enjoyed the quick pace, the flurry of detail and the rich evocation of a time and a place that has ceased to exist through the passage of time and gradual gentrification of Manhattan. I highly recommend it to readers interested in art and New York. And if you're like Kate, you should read it for sure.

Rating: BEACH

FTC Disclosure: I received this book from Random House for review.

Review: NOT MY FATHER'S SON, by Alan Cumming

Not My Father's Son, by Alan Cumming. Published 2014 by Dey St./William Morrow. Memoir.

I don't read a ton of celebrity memoirs- usually I have to be a fan of the author, and even then let's just say I manage my expectations. I can't say I'm a particular fan of Alan Cumming (I did see "Circle of Friends" on a flight to Ireland in 1995) but the buzz on his book was just so intriguing that I had to check it out, and I'm so glad I did.

Cumming's book tells two stories. First, he tells us about his father, Alex, who was monstrously abusive, both emotionally and physically, towards Alan, his brother Tom and their mother Mary. Alex tormented his children even into adulthood, first by telling Alan that Alan was not his biological child and then by playing a cruel trick designed to come to light after his death. Cumming tells Alex's story in alternating chapters with the present-tense search for the truth about his maternal grandfather. Tom Darling was a World War 2 soldier with the Cameron Highlanders, a Scottish unit that served in Europe. He died under shaded circumstances in Malaysia; Cumming sets out to find out what happened to him, with the help of a British television show called "Who Do You Think You Are". This reality show helps celebrities find out things about their families and documents the search.

Cumming's writing is very good and I found the narrative compelling and emotionally affecting. I was sorry to see it end, and I really enjoyed following his journey to find out more about Darling- a journey with two endings, one bitter and one very, very sweet. The story of coming to terms with Alex Cumming's sad legacy is also very emotional, but I loved the way Cumming finds of turning his father's last betrayal into something beautiful for Mary Darling. He also turned out a beautiful book full of love and forgiveness and acceptance. In the end that's all we can ask. I would certainly recommend the book to memoir readers and to people who enjoy reading about families. Ultimately it's a very happy story.

P.S., if you're interested in the story of Tom Darling, you can find the entire episode of "Who Do You Think You Are" on YouTube.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: THE INFINITE WAIT AND OTHER STORIES, by Julia Wertz

The Infinite Wait and Other Stories, by Julia Wertz. Published 2012 by Koyama Press. Graphica. Memoir.

I've been a fan of Julia Wertz since reading her first book, The Fart Party, which I reviewed here back in 2008. I got to interview her once for this blog, and when my husband went on a business trip to Brussels, the thing he found to bring me was a French translation of her comics.  This book isn't her most recent (that would be 2014's Museum of Mistakes, a collection of Fart Party comics) but it's a great introduction to her style and sensibility.

The Fart Party books are about her relationship with and breakup from a man named Oliver, as well as about her life in San Francisco and moving to New York City. (I just moved to New York so maybe I need to re-read that one.) They are crass, childish and full of swears. They are also very very funny and I love them. This book has less scatalogical and swear-word content than the Fart Party books but it's still definitely one for the grownups. I say this because there are still lots of people who think graphic-books are for children.

The Infinite Wait is comprised of three stories- two longer stories, one about working in restaurants and the other about how she started writing and drawing comics after coming down with Lupus at the age of 20, and a short about her love of libraries. As a librarian this last story warmed my heart of course but I loved the first two for telling me more about the woman behind Fart Party. Her adventures in restaurant work remind me of mine in retail and I'm grateful that she shared her personal struggle with chronic illness. Chronic illness is an issue that is often misunderstood and the people who suffer from it don't always get the understanding they need and deserve. I hope that Wertz's story can go some way to changing some perspectives.  She tells her story, plain and unpretentious, and that's what I've always loved about her writing.

So, I think you should pick this up if you like graphic memoirs and slice-of-life style graphic books. Obviously if you're a fan of hers you should read it. I'm a fan, so.

Rating: BEACH

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: THE LOST BOOK OF MORMON, by Avi Steinberg

The Lost Book of Mormon: A Journey Through the Mythic Lands of Nephi, Zarahemla, and Kansas City, Missouri, by Avi Steinberg. Published 2014 by Nan A. Talese. Memoir, Travel, Religion.

This is a book that's just a pleasure to read. Avi Steinberg's first memoir, Running the Books, came out in 2011 and was also a pleasure to read, albeit one that tackled a very different subject- prison libraries (and I recommend that book if you liked Orange is the New Black, just by the way.). The Lost Book of Mormon is part travelogue, part meditation on the nature of writing, part history. Steinberg starts in Jerusalem, where he has lived on and off for most of his life, examining the sites in that city that are connected to the Mormon faith. He really starts by trying to locate an actual copy of the Mormon holy book in Jerusalem, and that story alone is worth reading as a comic portrayal of life in the holy city.

But things really get going when Steinberg embarks on an organized tour of Mormon holy sites in the new world- Mayan sites in Central and South America to be precise. He hitches his wagon to a group of Australian and American Mormons, a big extended family traveling together, and Steinberg virtually the sole outsider, non-relative and non-Mormon. This section of the book is funny, fascinating and very enjoyable, kind of like A Walk in the Woods only on a bus and with a group.

He keeps this outsider's perspective throughout the book, thinking about Joseph Smith, the uses of storytelling and fiction, and the religion as an idiosyncratic product of American culture. He doesn't support the Mormon faith per se but doesn't criticize it either, rather he uses the phenomenon of Mormonism as a jumping-off point for meditations on literature and religious scripture as a literary creation. This is not a book about the Book of Mormon so much as it is about Steinberg's encounter with the faith, and especially so when he gets to his participation in a reenactment of episodes from the Book.

Along the way he talks about his own struggles and in particular his faltering marriage. Not everyone is going to be interested in his personal life and the mixed reviews on social media bear this out. Personally I enjoyed the whole thing cover to cover. I think I just like his voice and point of view. I would definitely recommend the book to memoir readers but warn readers expecting a conversion story or something very pro-Mormonism to stay away. Again it's not critical- it's just not about being an endorsement or serious analysis pro or con. It's a quiet, kind of meditative book, and well worth your time.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I received a copy of this book for review from Random House.

Book Review: THE FALL, by Diogo Mainardi

The Fall: A Father's Memoir in 424 Steps, by Diogo Mainardi. Published 2014 by Other Press. Translated from Portuguese. Memoir.

The Fall is the author's memoir of his son Tito, who developed cerebral palsy following medical malpractice at an Italian hospital. It is, as blurb says, a history of the Western world with Tito at its center, as he is the center of his father's life. It is about acceptance, anger, and what "normal" means.  Tito's birth and all its attendant struggles is the consequence of a long line of "falls" and his life as an example of what it means to get back up.

Because falling is only one half of the story. There's also those 424 steps. For several years when Tito was a child and learning to walk, he fell constantly. His father would count the number of steps Tito could take without falling. 424 was the record number of literal steps that Tito took and the point at which his father stopped counting. Because as much as the book is about Tito's disabilities, it's also a love letter to his son and to that moment when Mainardi could let go and stop counting his son's steps, the moment when it became unremarkable for his son to walk.

Mainardi breaks the book into 424 sections, most very short, and intersperses personal memories with historical anecdotes and stories. He talks about art and architecture, about other people who lived with cerebral palsy, and about the Holocaust and how Hitler's program to exterminate the Jews started with exterminating the disabled.

He also raises the sensitive question of exploitation via a section about a politician who spoke publicly about his son's cerebral palsy and was criticized. In doing so he implicitly asks whether this book represents exploitation of Tito, I think. I don't think so. I think people are uncomfortable with illness and difference and often react by blaming their uncomfortable feelings on those doing the talking. Rather than deal with people who are different, and deal with their own discomfort, it's easier to point the finger and try to shut someone up with accusations like "exploitation.". I think as a writer and as a person,  Mainardi needs to talk about his son, and deserves to, with the same pride and love as any parent.

The thing I love most about this book, and the thing I'll take away with me, is when Mainardi talks about how Tito is "just a person I know," how when you love someone with a disability you don't think of the disability, you just think of the person as a person. This is so true to my experience. Whether or not you have experience with people with disabilities, I can't recommend Mainardi's memoir highly enough. There is so much compassion and love flowing through the pages of this marvelous book.

Rating: BUY!

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for review from Other Press.

Review: CARSICK, by John Waters

Carsick, by John Waters. Published 2014 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Audiobook narrated by John Waters. Memoir, Humor.

Oh my God, you guys. So, I have never seen a John Waters movie (I might have seen "Serial Mom," but that's it) but I'm a fan of John Waters the writer and cultural figure- the outsider, the pusher of boundaries, the purveyor of things-that-make-people-squirm-uncomfortably. I think that's a good thing in a free society and after reading his 2010 book Role Models I was definitely interested in reading his latest, a combination of memoir and fiction recounting what was basically a stunt he pulled, hitchhiking across America from his home in Baltimore to his apartment in San Francisco.

The first two parts of the book are fiction. The first, "Good Rides," recounts the best-case scenarios- hilarious, often raunchy, wish-fulfillment scenes involving resurrected film stars, generous drug dealers, retired porn stars and magical body parts. He encounters an exhibitionist bank robber and a race car driver who gets a little too involved in his racing. He meets a collector of the same kinds of pulp novels he loves, books with titles like Chain Gang Chicken and Womb Raiders. He takes a ride from a singer he loves, and joins her in a rendition of his favorite songs. His hair grows back. He makes a new best friend. It's awesome.

Part two is "Bad Rides," or "the worst that could happen." In this section things get ugly very quickly after a bad ride with an obsessive fan who only speaks in quotations from Waters' own movies. He gets a scary tattoo, he gets sick from tofu served by a vegan extremist and sleeps in a dog house owned by an animal lover who hates people. And he meets a man with a very bad opinion indeed of cult film directors. The "Bad Rides" section was truly awful in places; I listened to the audio version of the book so I listened to everything, but I would have skimmed if I had been reading paper. And it's here, I think, that Waters' sense of humor and sense of the gross and grotesque really come out to play.

Finally the rubber hits the road in the "Real Rides" section, which documents Waters' actual trip. This section was the most fun because it was the truth. And the truth is, when you're John Waters, hitchhiking is mostly boring, and tedious, and mined with privations, and you  miss your Evian water, and your La Mer skin cream, and marvel at the lack of room service at Days' Inn hotels. But you get picked up more than the average person and generally have a good time meeting folks from different walks of life and parts of the country. And Waters did make a real new friend, a young Republican city councilman, as well as a host of other traveling companions.

I enjoyed the whole book, even the real cringe-worthy chapters of the "Bad Rides" section, with one exception. I'm glad I did the audio because Waters' narration is so worth the price of admission. He is hilarious but also sweet and adorable and just plain fun, even when he's complaining about the lack of amenities at cheap hotels and the difficulty obtaining his La Mer skin cream. I like his books because he just seems like a fun person with whom to spend time, and if you have a warped sense of humor and don't mind a fair serving of raunch, please don't miss Carsick. It's a great ride.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.

Review: WHY BE HAPPY WHEN YOU COULD BE NORMAL? by Jeanette Winterson

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson. Nonfiction. Memoir. Published 2012 by Grove Atlantic.

So it seems to be Jeanette Winterson Week here on Boston Bibliophile. Could be worse. I mean, Winterson is one of the best living writers in English. I bought this book, her memoir, when it came out but it took me until late last year to read it. After I read The Daylight Gate I knew I couldn't wait any longer, and I'm sorry I waited as long as I did.

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? is really the story of Winterson's three mothers- Constance Winterson, who raised her and who is referred to throughout as "Mrs. Winterson," Winterson's biological mother, and her third mother which is literature, which first saved her life and then gave her a living.

Winterson is adopted as a baby by a working-class Manchester couple who are religious fundamentalists and abuse her horribly. Mrs. Winterson locks her out of the house repeatedly, beats her, instructs her husband to beat her and torments her psychologically. Young Jeanette takes refuge in books and reading, forbidden in her house as all she's allowed to read is the Bible. She has a relationship with a female friend and soon realizes what she's always known, that she has to leave home. As a teenager Jeanette runs away and with the help of teachers gets accepted to Oxford. From there she begins to develop as a writer and as a person. Not surprisingly she has a lot of anger to deal with.

As adult Winterson decides to take on the task of finding her biological mother, and this process occupies the final third of the book. The narrative structure is more or less chronological but not strictly so, and the tone and style of the book feels similar to much of her fiction, at times highly descriptive and impressionistic and at others more focused and forward-moving. Winterson's painful relationship with Mrs. Winterson is hard to read sometimes; my heart broke repeatedly for the little girl looking for love from a mother incapable of giving it.

The book has obvious appeal for adoptees but I think Winterson's search, which is for home in many senses of the word, is something almost everyone can relate to in some ways. The depth of alienation she feels from her parents is profound, and she does not find much solace in her biological family, but I got the impression that she has found a home and a family in her adult relationships and the book ends on notes of hard-earned peace and contentment. I was very moved and affected by her story, and I would recommend it to her fans and those of memoir but also to any reader looking for a beautifully written, if sometimes dark, family story.

Rating: BUY

FTC Disclosure: I did not receive this book for review.